A "Guest" blog from my daughter, Rebecca Feiler
Girls Inc. is a nonprofit organization that is dedicated
to inspiring all girls to be strong, smart, and bold.
Among other things they have programs that encourage
girls to excel in school, especially in math and
sciences, and has created innovative programs that
help girls confront subtle societal messages about
their value and potential, and prepare them to lead
successful, independent, and fulfilling lives.
Recently Girls Inc. collaborated with American Girl
(whose mission is to celebrate girls by selling
age-appropriate books, magazines, movies and dolls to
help foster girl’s individuality, intellectual
curiosity, and imagination). Together they started an
“I can” campaign to encourage girls to "Believe in
yourself and each other. Believe in your power.
Believe in your strength."
The campaign is selling bracelets for $1 that ask
girls who wear the bracelet to make the “I can”
promise of : "I can be myself, follow my dreams, and
always do my best. I can reach for the stars, lend a
hand to others, and be a good friend. I can make a
difference! I promise to try."
Who would be against this empowerment of young women??
The American Family Association. The AFA has started
a petition to stop the campaign because Girls, Inc. is
“a pro-abortion, pro-lesbian advocacy group.”
Unbelievable! This is infuriates me to the fullest
extent!!!
Here is the statement of "proof" that the AFA offers
to show that Girls Inc. is a bunch of lesbian, baby
killers:
Girls Incorporated encourages all girls to develop
positive sexual identities and to function comfortably
as responsible sexual beings...Girls have a right to
positive, supportive environments and linkages to
community resources for dealing with issues of sexual
orientation.
...We recognize the right of all women to choose
whether, when, and under what circumstances to bear
children. Reproductive freedom and responsibility are
essential to other rights and opportunities, including
pursuit of education, employment, financial security
and a stable and fulfilling family life.
Here are the actual programs that the money raised
from the bracelets goes to:
Girls Inc. Operation SMART®, which builds skills in
science, math and technology;
Girls Inc. Discovery Leadership®, which develops
leadership skills and community awareness; and
Girls Inc. Sporting Chance®, which encourages athletic
skills, cooperative and competitive spirit, and an
interest in sports participation.
There are actual groups threatening to boycott
American Girl if they continue to collaborate with
Girl’s Inc.
To show my support for the “I Can” campaign I bought
the bracelets and emailed the president of American
Girl that I support their collaboration with Girls
Inc.
Click here to buy a bracelet.
Thanks for listening to my rant,
Becky
Author writing sexy contemporary women's fiction
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Get it Write!
One of the most annoying spelling errors I see (far too often) is using "loose" for "lose."
"Lose" is a verb and "loose" is an adjective. So you cannot "loose" weight, your keys or anything else.
Proper use: When you lose weight (especially after age 40), you often have loose skin to contend with.
"Lose" is a verb and "loose" is an adjective. So you cannot "loose" weight, your keys or anything else.
Proper use: When you lose weight (especially after age 40), you often have loose skin to contend with.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Women to Blame for Lack of Female Executives, Expert Says
Yes. That was the subject line of the unsolicited email I received yesterday from Merilee Kern of Kern Communications. An excerpt from the message, which was promoting a seminar, read:
Mr. McKee [the expert] notes, “It’s shocking and frankly unacceptable that less than 4 percent of America’s largest companies have women in the most senior management roles. This is clearly not representative of a woman’s ability or desire to lead, but rather is reflective of the cold hard fact that gender bias does still exist in the 21st century workplace. This statistic also reveals that too many talented, intelligent and deserving women simply do not strategize, or execute, effective ways they can be seen, heard, respected and, in turn, promoted in the workplace.”
This was my reply.
Dear Merilee,
So, women are to blame for lack of female executives, according to Mr. McKee. I suppose he also feels it's our fault that we're offered less wages, denied access and are subjected to discriminatory language and behavior.
It's not likely that I would turn to a man to learn how to be more successful as a woman. If he really wants to help women, he should speak to men about changing their attitudes and stereotypical prejudices. Women don't need to learn how to be more like men; they need to realize that they are fine just the way they are and work toward creating an environment where our accomplishments are not remarkable by gender, but by the simple act of doing what we're doing well.
If the current system is so skewed in recognizing talent and deservedness, why would anyone want to be part of it? Women need to create a better system, not mold themselves into an archaic, repressive (albeit traditional) system.
I don't want to receive any more information about Mr. McKee. When you are planning or promoting events or seminars that truly empower women, send me an email.
Sincerely
Shelley Lieber
Mr. McKee [the expert] notes, “It’s shocking and frankly unacceptable that less than 4 percent of America’s largest companies have women in the most senior management roles. This is clearly not representative of a woman’s ability or desire to lead, but rather is reflective of the cold hard fact that gender bias does still exist in the 21st century workplace. This statistic also reveals that too many talented, intelligent and deserving women simply do not strategize, or execute, effective ways they can be seen, heard, respected and, in turn, promoted in the workplace.”
This was my reply.
Dear Merilee,
So, women are to blame for lack of female executives, according to Mr. McKee. I suppose he also feels it's our fault that we're offered less wages, denied access and are subjected to discriminatory language and behavior.
It's not likely that I would turn to a man to learn how to be more successful as a woman. If he really wants to help women, he should speak to men about changing their attitudes and stereotypical prejudices. Women don't need to learn how to be more like men; they need to realize that they are fine just the way they are and work toward creating an environment where our accomplishments are not remarkable by gender, but by the simple act of doing what we're doing well.
If the current system is so skewed in recognizing talent and deservedness, why would anyone want to be part of it? Women need to create a better system, not mold themselves into an archaic, repressive (albeit traditional) system.
I don't want to receive any more information about Mr. McKee. When you are planning or promoting events or seminars that truly empower women, send me an email.
Sincerely
Shelley Lieber
Monday, September 12, 2005
Wordy Woman Excerpt 2
I'm in the middle of a very time-consuming editorial project. For this week, I'll be posting excerpts from my newsletter, The Wordy Woman, also available on my website.
From the "Womanly Wisdom" column:
"Action is the antidote to despair." —Joan Baez
These words have carried me through some personal dark moments. I thought this quote was particularly appropriate in the wake of Katrina.
From the "Womanly Wisdom" column:
"Action is the antidote to despair." —Joan Baez
These words have carried me through some personal dark moments. I thought this quote was particularly appropriate in the wake of Katrina.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Wordy Woman Excerpt 1
I'm in the middle of a very time-consuming editorial project. For this week, I'll be posting excerpts from my newsletter, The Wordy Woman, also available on my website.
Wordy Woman- Issue 1 -September 2005
Do you have a personal statement of purpose? Some people call it a mission statement. My mother had a more succinct, albeit less eloquent, way of putting it. "You have to stand for something," she said.
Ten years ago I was at a seminar and the speaker asked us to write down our statements of purpose. I panicked. I sat immobile as I watched everyone around me writing furiously. Not wanting to appear shallow or unmotivated, I wrote "My Purpose" on the top of a page. Then I drew flowers and hearts with my gel pen until the speaker mercifully continued with his presentation. But the exercise was not lost on me. I thought about it often.
It took me two years to write a statement that I didn't cross out, delete or crumple up. Then another three years to perfect it to the point that I felt truly expressed my raison d'être. Here is my statement of purpose.
To inspire, motivate and educate women, giving them the information and resources they need to accomplish their own personal goals, so that we can work together to make this world a better place.
I began on the pages of my journal, writing plans, lists and essays. It's one thing to write or speak your intentions. It's entirely something else to act on them. I found the courage to move forward in the words of other women, some well known, some known only to their friends and family. I began my "coming out" just about two years ago. Topping my action list of things to do in order to reach my goals were these three items: start a creative women's group, put up a website, publish a newsletter or ezine.
Do not underestimate the power of your pen, nor the power of what we can accomplish individually and together as women. If you have not yet begun, then start today. Write now.
Wordy Woman- Issue 1 -September 2005
Do you have a personal statement of purpose? Some people call it a mission statement. My mother had a more succinct, albeit less eloquent, way of putting it. "You have to stand for something," she said.
Ten years ago I was at a seminar and the speaker asked us to write down our statements of purpose. I panicked. I sat immobile as I watched everyone around me writing furiously. Not wanting to appear shallow or unmotivated, I wrote "My Purpose" on the top of a page. Then I drew flowers and hearts with my gel pen until the speaker mercifully continued with his presentation. But the exercise was not lost on me. I thought about it often.
It took me two years to write a statement that I didn't cross out, delete or crumple up. Then another three years to perfect it to the point that I felt truly expressed my raison d'être. Here is my statement of purpose.
To inspire, motivate and educate women, giving them the information and resources they need to accomplish their own personal goals, so that we can work together to make this world a better place.
I began on the pages of my journal, writing plans, lists and essays. It's one thing to write or speak your intentions. It's entirely something else to act on them. I found the courage to move forward in the words of other women, some well known, some known only to their friends and family. I began my "coming out" just about two years ago. Topping my action list of things to do in order to reach my goals were these three items: start a creative women's group, put up a website, publish a newsletter or ezine.
Do not underestimate the power of your pen, nor the power of what we can accomplish individually and together as women. If you have not yet begun, then start today. Write now.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Write Right, Write Well
In the past week, I've read two articles by editors bemoaning the lack of respect for language exhibited by would-be writers in their query letters and other correspondence. Their opinions echo my own, but I'll go one step further. I don't like to see language abused by writers in any format, including email and discussion boards.
Good writing, on the other hand, so enthralls me that I can become drunk with the words. I'm serious. When I come upon finely crafted literature or journalism, I can't get enough. Like an alcoholic with drink, I continue reading until I pass out, book in hand or lap. When I awake, I usually have to backtrack a few pages to refresh my memory of what I read previously because I push myself to continue long past my ability to retain the information.
Last week I had my first experience "listening" to a novel. I've listened to countless nonfiction audio books, but never fiction. We borrowed Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones" from the library for entertainment on a recent trip to Sarasota. The drive there and back to Fort Lauderdale wasn't long enough to hear the complete story, so we listened to the balance while Hurricane Katrina tore across South Florida.
"The Lovely Bones" is a compelling story, riveting the reader from the opening paragraph to the conclusion. Sebold's careful, precise use of language is brilliant. The story is told in the first person by a 14-year-old murdered girl who watches her family and murderer from heaven as they progress through their lives after her death. Because she is dead and watching the action from above, she also enjoys the advantage of the omniscient voice; she knows everything about everyone she sees below. Yet, there is little narrative description. Almost everything the reader needs to know is revealed through the characters' actions and dialogue.
The following is an excerpt from an author interview done for powell.com in July 2002.
Sebold: Voice is really key to me, so when I drift away from voice, that's when the writing begins to sound tinny or dry; it will start to sound wrong to me.
I'm compelled by language, so there are days for instance where if it sounds flat and dry I try to find something else to do that will help the book. That often means going to poets and reading poetry. That's my fuel tank. Voice and language is primary, and everything comes out of that.
(The entire interview can be read here.)
How powerful is good writing? "The Lovely Bones" enjoyed American hardcover sales of nearly three million copies and became an unprecedented international bestseller, with translations in 36 languages.
Writing is an art. Producing a masterpiece takes discipline and practice.
Even if you never intend to publish your work, words are all you have to communicate your message. Cherish your words. Take care to punctuate your thoughts properly. And practice the elements of good writing in everything you write so you can be proud to sign your name at the bottom of the page.
Good writing, on the other hand, so enthralls me that I can become drunk with the words. I'm serious. When I come upon finely crafted literature or journalism, I can't get enough. Like an alcoholic with drink, I continue reading until I pass out, book in hand or lap. When I awake, I usually have to backtrack a few pages to refresh my memory of what I read previously because I push myself to continue long past my ability to retain the information.
Last week I had my first experience "listening" to a novel. I've listened to countless nonfiction audio books, but never fiction. We borrowed Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones" from the library for entertainment on a recent trip to Sarasota. The drive there and back to Fort Lauderdale wasn't long enough to hear the complete story, so we listened to the balance while Hurricane Katrina tore across South Florida.
"The Lovely Bones" is a compelling story, riveting the reader from the opening paragraph to the conclusion. Sebold's careful, precise use of language is brilliant. The story is told in the first person by a 14-year-old murdered girl who watches her family and murderer from heaven as they progress through their lives after her death. Because she is dead and watching the action from above, she also enjoys the advantage of the omniscient voice; she knows everything about everyone she sees below. Yet, there is little narrative description. Almost everything the reader needs to know is revealed through the characters' actions and dialogue.
The following is an excerpt from an author interview done for powell.com in July 2002.
Sebold: Voice is really key to me, so when I drift away from voice, that's when the writing begins to sound tinny or dry; it will start to sound wrong to me.
I'm compelled by language, so there are days for instance where if it sounds flat and dry I try to find something else to do that will help the book. That often means going to poets and reading poetry. That's my fuel tank. Voice and language is primary, and everything comes out of that.
(The entire interview can be read here.)
How powerful is good writing? "The Lovely Bones" enjoyed American hardcover sales of nearly three million copies and became an unprecedented international bestseller, with translations in 36 languages.
Writing is an art. Producing a masterpiece takes discipline and practice.
Even if you never intend to publish your work, words are all you have to communicate your message. Cherish your words. Take care to punctuate your thoughts properly. And practice the elements of good writing in everything you write so you can be proud to sign your name at the bottom of the page.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Rejection
"Rejection is a gift from God."—Melinda
I don't know who Melinda is; I don't know her last name. This quote was related to me by a friend of Melinda some years ago when I was interviewing women for a book I was writing about re-entering the dating world after divorce. After her husband left her, Melinda had little luck finding a new mate and was disappointed many times in what she thought were potentially good relationships. When she finally found a man she could call her soul mate, she realized that the earlier rejections were necessary so that she would be available when their paths crossed.
I employed the same philosophy with my children. Once, when my then-teenage daughter was devastated after a summer dance program accepted her friend while placing her on a wait list, I consoled her by assuring her that this simply meant something better was on its way. Sure enough, one month later she was accepted by a more prestigious program and awarded a scholarship as well.
I have to remind myself of my own words and Melinda's story as I receive rejections from prospective agents. It doesn't matter how long you've been in the business, it still stings. But it doesn't hurt enough to keep me from revising and re-submitting.
The agents who turned me down are not the right people to represent me (at least that's what they say in their letters). I'm pleased because that means they are enabling me to be available when the right agent accepts my work. So, I am thankful for the many gifts of rejection bestowed upon me. Although, I must admit, the gift of acceptance would be appreciated, too. But, just like the right mate, the right agent is worth waiting for. I'm going to keep sending those letters out there until the magic happens.
I don't know who Melinda is; I don't know her last name. This quote was related to me by a friend of Melinda some years ago when I was interviewing women for a book I was writing about re-entering the dating world after divorce. After her husband left her, Melinda had little luck finding a new mate and was disappointed many times in what she thought were potentially good relationships. When she finally found a man she could call her soul mate, she realized that the earlier rejections were necessary so that she would be available when their paths crossed.
I employed the same philosophy with my children. Once, when my then-teenage daughter was devastated after a summer dance program accepted her friend while placing her on a wait list, I consoled her by assuring her that this simply meant something better was on its way. Sure enough, one month later she was accepted by a more prestigious program and awarded a scholarship as well.
I have to remind myself of my own words and Melinda's story as I receive rejections from prospective agents. It doesn't matter how long you've been in the business, it still stings. But it doesn't hurt enough to keep me from revising and re-submitting.
The agents who turned me down are not the right people to represent me (at least that's what they say in their letters). I'm pleased because that means they are enabling me to be available when the right agent accepts my work. So, I am thankful for the many gifts of rejection bestowed upon me. Although, I must admit, the gift of acceptance would be appreciated, too. But, just like the right mate, the right agent is worth waiting for. I'm going to keep sending those letters out there until the magic happens.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Fellow Writers
I am posting a letter I wrote last week. The editor of a magazine that I write for had sent an email to all the contributors during the production of the latest issue, and all our email addresses were ganged along the top of the "To:" line. When the "payment upon publication" was late in arriving, one of the writers took it upon herself to start a dialogue among the contributors, using the the email list from the editor's earlier email. The emails went from inquisitive (did you get paid?), to complaining (I heard this magazine is going out of business), to "this is the way it is." At first, I didn't get involved in the conversation, mostly because I didn't want to converse with email identities such as "cutegirl@website.com" But I did jump in at the end, and this is the letter I wrote.
Fellow writers and contributors,
I've read the past few days of emails with interest but did not participate because I felt discussing private information about pay, etc was inappropriate with a group of people I did not know and couldn't identify by their email monikers. But now the conversation has turned to the philosophical--and I need a break from the assignment I'm currently working on.
The amount of compensation is not the point in wanting to be paid in a timely (and promised) manner. Regardless of the amount, you did the research, wrote the article and met your deadline. It's not too much to expect that the client (or publisher) shows you the same professionalism and respect.
I have been in the publishing industry for 30 years and freelancing for almost 20 years. In that time, not much has changed, including the rate of pay for editorial or commercial (copy writing) material. Like most writers, I stay with it because it's what I do, and what I love. However, I'm tired of chasing my money. The next time you call a magazine or client's office about a past-due account, ask the person on the other end how he or she would feel if his or her weekly paycheck was withheld until the advertiser paid. Ask that person if she could wait 30, 60 or 90 days for compensation. Or, how about never being paid? That's happened to me on several occasions when a "pay on publication" magazine went out of business before my article ran.
Yes, these are the accepted rules. But what if writers stopped acting like doormats? What if we asked for fair and timely compensation? Radical! Do you know how much photographers and designers (advertising, not editorial) in our industry get paid in relation to our rates? Why accept being starving artists? Perhaps it is for love or need to communicate. But whatever the reason, we do not have to just shut up and take it. We can expect to be treated like professionals and extended the courtesy of timely payment. Good manners alone require a business person to return a phone call and follow up on promises made.
So, don't feel sorry about wanting your money--$9, $90 or $900--you earned it.
I don't advocate whining or complaining. Take action and don't be afraid to speak your mind to the people who can change things--your editors, publishers and clients. Writing one another won't change anything at all--unless you want to form a group that works together for better treatment of freelance writers. But, for goodness sakes, don't just accept the status quo. Keep writing and improve your skills so you can work for larger publications, many of which pay on submission and at a much higher rate. Keep writing and submitting so that you have enough work out there that you won't starve or miss a payment because one or two checks are late.
You may have to or choose to work for small amounts, but you do not have to accept being treated unprofessionally. Respect for our talent and professionalism is worth more than any compensation--so don't settle for less than that.
Well, back to work. My next deadline looms.
Best regards,
Shelley Lieber
P.S. I wish more of you would include your real names and be proud of what you write.
Fellow writers and contributors,
I've read the past few days of emails with interest but did not participate because I felt discussing private information about pay, etc was inappropriate with a group of people I did not know and couldn't identify by their email monikers. But now the conversation has turned to the philosophical--and I need a break from the assignment I'm currently working on.
The amount of compensation is not the point in wanting to be paid in a timely (and promised) manner. Regardless of the amount, you did the research, wrote the article and met your deadline. It's not too much to expect that the client (or publisher) shows you the same professionalism and respect.
I have been in the publishing industry for 30 years and freelancing for almost 20 years. In that time, not much has changed, including the rate of pay for editorial or commercial (copy writing) material. Like most writers, I stay with it because it's what I do, and what I love. However, I'm tired of chasing my money. The next time you call a magazine or client's office about a past-due account, ask the person on the other end how he or she would feel if his or her weekly paycheck was withheld until the advertiser paid. Ask that person if she could wait 30, 60 or 90 days for compensation. Or, how about never being paid? That's happened to me on several occasions when a "pay on publication" magazine went out of business before my article ran.
Yes, these are the accepted rules. But what if writers stopped acting like doormats? What if we asked for fair and timely compensation? Radical! Do you know how much photographers and designers (advertising, not editorial) in our industry get paid in relation to our rates? Why accept being starving artists? Perhaps it is for love or need to communicate. But whatever the reason, we do not have to just shut up and take it. We can expect to be treated like professionals and extended the courtesy of timely payment. Good manners alone require a business person to return a phone call and follow up on promises made.
So, don't feel sorry about wanting your money--$9, $90 or $900--you earned it.
I don't advocate whining or complaining. Take action and don't be afraid to speak your mind to the people who can change things--your editors, publishers and clients. Writing one another won't change anything at all--unless you want to form a group that works together for better treatment of freelance writers. But, for goodness sakes, don't just accept the status quo. Keep writing and improve your skills so you can work for larger publications, many of which pay on submission and at a much higher rate. Keep writing and submitting so that you have enough work out there that you won't starve or miss a payment because one or two checks are late.
You may have to or choose to work for small amounts, but you do not have to accept being treated unprofessionally. Respect for our talent and professionalism is worth more than any compensation--so don't settle for less than that.
Well, back to work. My next deadline looms.
Best regards,
Shelley Lieber
P.S. I wish more of you would include your real names and be proud of what you write.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Guru, Schmuru
"I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me."—Anna Quindlen
I am not a guru. Unlike many of the self-proclaimed gurus, I do not claim to be in possession of some secret formula that you need to get from me. The more I read the outrageous statements made by these "professionals," the more they all sound alike. And they are alike, because contrary to what they tell you, their thoughts are not original. They have merely read the Masters, rephrased the concepts, and now claim to be the originators of a “new” philosophy leading to self-awareness and riches. They say they have discovered the secret of success and if they did it, you can too. They even offer to sell their secrets to you if you attend their seminars or buy their books and audio programs.
I have studied the same books they have, and most of the gurus do a poor job imitating the great Masters. The real great philosophers of past and present did not take to the streets proclaiming their greatness and selling “answers” to the public. The great philosophers revealed their insight so that others could share their vision and benefit from it.
The “secrets” revealed are not the property of anyone to pass on to you. What I have discovered after years of study is that no one can give you anything at all. In fact, I’m suggesting it’s quite the opposite.
You have all the riches inside you.
The best another person can do is to help you find and mine your treasure within. The only way I can help you is to share the tools I’ve learned to use and show you how you can build your own life to order.
I am not a guru. Unlike many of the self-proclaimed gurus, I do not claim to be in possession of some secret formula that you need to get from me. The more I read the outrageous statements made by these "professionals," the more they all sound alike. And they are alike, because contrary to what they tell you, their thoughts are not original. They have merely read the Masters, rephrased the concepts, and now claim to be the originators of a “new” philosophy leading to self-awareness and riches. They say they have discovered the secret of success and if they did it, you can too. They even offer to sell their secrets to you if you attend their seminars or buy their books and audio programs.
I have studied the same books they have, and most of the gurus do a poor job imitating the great Masters. The real great philosophers of past and present did not take to the streets proclaiming their greatness and selling “answers” to the public. The great philosophers revealed their insight so that others could share their vision and benefit from it.
The “secrets” revealed are not the property of anyone to pass on to you. What I have discovered after years of study is that no one can give you anything at all. In fact, I’m suggesting it’s quite the opposite.
You have all the riches inside you.
The best another person can do is to help you find and mine your treasure within. The only way I can help you is to share the tools I’ve learned to use and show you how you can build your own life to order.
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